Welcome to the GROG!  (Graybill’s Blogish Thing)

News - November 22, 2004:  Let me tell you a little something about kid's shows. They are insiduous little things that work their way into your head until they have brainwashed you to the point where you find yourself standing on an elevator next to the CEO of your company whistling the Theme to Spongebob Squarepants. I'm sure that the thing that makes them so appealing to children is the same thing that makes them so unappealing to parents. The repetition, the campy toilet humor, the repetition, the high pitched nasally voices, and don't forget the repetition. That being said if you think your child is old enough to go see The Spongebob Squarepants Movie then I say go for it. There really isn't any amazing moral lesson that they are going to learn, although the movie makes a few stabs at some. Such as teaching that just because you're a kid doesn't mean that you can't journey halfway across the sea in a car shaped liked a hamburger, to recover the crown of King Neptune so that he won't kill your boss, with whom you are already a bit disgruntled anyway. I quizzed Gray on what he saw in the movie and all he really wanted to talk about was how Plankton gave all of the residents of Bikini Bottom helmets that turned them into mind controlled zombies who obeyed his every word and forced them to build a giant monument to him. (Much like being a cabinet member in the current administration I guess.) Apparently that was the only thing he learned from the movie, which is fine by me. Most of the people that I hear talking about Spongebob say that the most important lesson that he teaches can be seen in his disinclination to acquiese to the rigorous emotional demands of adulthood, choosing instead to remain carefree and happy no matter what the course. A lesson that many Democrats were recently taught, although some opted to disregard in favor of the wide open spaces of the new world. When that lesson induced Spongebob and Patrick to jump off of a cliff together, I decided that perhaps there were some lessons from the movie that I would rather my son NOT learn. Such as the one that involved Spongebob and Patrick sneaking away from a bunch of bullies in a bar while some other hapless fool took the beating that was meant for them. However, as a child of the 80's I can tell you that the most exciting part was David Hasselhoff's cameo. It is refreshing to find "celebrites" that are willing to poke fun at themselves, and I think that after what he put himself through in this movie, he definitely needs to be put into a "good sport" hall of fame.

Back to the reason that I think that children's shows are evil. It really has nothing to do with too much TV watching, or anything as banal as that. No instead it's the fact that Gray is now obsessed with Spongebob because of an Xbox game that I bought him, on a whim, because it was on sale for $30 off. I brought it home one day, shortly before our move, and handed it to him as I walked in the door, and you would think that I had dropped him into a room full of candy. He let out this ear splitting shriek and tore into the family room to pop the game into the Xbox. That was the end of my tenure as the owner of the Xbox. At first it was convenient, as Lisa and I were busy packing and it kept him enthralled for hours on end. We've never been fond of the idea of using the TV as a babysitter, but when the choice is between that and having him help wrap and pack our China, I elected for the Xbox, and Lisa grudgingly agreed. At first I spent quite a bit of time helping him, as did Lisa, because there were parts that were just too difficult for someone who couldn't even fit his hands all the way around the controller. That quickly changed however, and now he is mostly self sufficient. He has managed to find a few ways to hold the controller that allows him to push the necessary buttons, and he is quickly turning into quite the video game player. Of course now that we are moved into a new house that is in a neighborhood literally teeming with children, we are trying to ween him off of the game and get him back outside. Let me tell you how much of a hypocrit I feel like when I try to tell my son that he is spending too much time playing video games. In one respect I think it's a shame, because the games really are teaching him some pretty impressive problem solving skills. To see him analyze a level to determine just what he needs to do to get from point A to point B is really amazing. But at the same time his skin is starting to take on a strage translucent tone as he avoids anything that might expose him to the Great Yellow Eye. I did finally get him to go outside last night and run around with some of the other children in the neighborhood. As we discovered before we even moved in, our street has usually anywhere from ten to five billion kids running around on the weekend until the sun goes down. They were skateboarding, and bike riding, and throwing a football, and chasing each other. It was absolutely amazing, and I was thrilled that Gray actually agreed to take part. I guess it helped that the sun was safely hidden behind the clouds at that point, but he seemed to be having a great time, and it gave me a chance to meet more of the neighbors. I kept trying to count just how many kids were out there, but gave up when I was sure that I started to count some of them twice. Either there were fifty kids, or twenty that were moving really quickly. My guess is that it was somewhere in between. The ages ranged from 15 months to fourteen or fifteen years, and I was quite impressed to see the older kids that came right up to Gray, asked him his name and then led him over to the other kids. It appears to be a good neighborhood that Lisa and I have picked for, what we are calling, our grown up house. I'll take some more pictures soon so that everyone can see the inside.

And.... that's it for now. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope the Holidays are happy and joyful, etc. And remember, Only 1,443 days until the next Presidential Election.

 

News - September 2, 2003:  One month from three years old, and Gray still never ceases to amaze us.  While he mostly sleeps through the night he has not taken but two or three naps in the past six months.  He definitely has my energy, and no matter how much I ask he won’t give it back.  A few nights ago when Lisa was trying to read him his bedtime book he got up put a globe in the middle of the floor and ran in circles around it for three minutes straight.  He has also become quite adept at computer games, and I swear I have no idea who he picked that up from.  In fact not long ago we went to Sesamestreet.com (I highly recommend it for any parents of small children out there) and he was showing me how to play the games, not the other way around.  I took that as my cue and went and got drunk…well not really, but the thought did cross my mind.  It’s just a little embarrassing when your two year old can point to a circle faster than you can.  Apart from that things are progressing well, and hopefully you’ll see more pictures up here before his fourth birthday.

News - May 29, 2003: Gray is now 2 and a half years old and has begun to fulfill the “You’ll get what you deserve” prediction that my mother and Grandmother have been telling me since I was, oh say, 2 and a half years old.  He can climb almost any object, even perfectly flat walls apparently.  He has my stubbornness, which makes for really interesting moments around the Junker household.  Unfortunately in the game of who can out-stubborn who, he also the invaluable weapon of being able to cry on the spot. 

News - May 25, 2003: Last Sunday he had a little accident on the treadmill at his Nana and Grandpa’s house, which resulted in his first emergency room visit.  He is okay, but did suffer a 2 ½ degree burn on the bottom of one of his feet.  In case anyone is wondering, the Fairfax Hospital Emergency room is fantastic for children.  The have a Fast Trac emergency room that they use for patients that have emergencies that cannot wait to be treated.  As far as we can tell that also means screaming children, as there was more than one in there.  He got several popsicles and a few X-Rays and they sent us home.  All in all he was an incredibly brave trooper and his only real complaint was that we would not let him get down and run around.  Apart from that he was very friendly to everyone who came in to take a look at him, even offering his popsicle to the X-Ray technician.  He said hello to the woman in the room across the hall from us a few times and insisted on asking her, each time, “What are you doing here?”  He could tell that she wasn’t happy, but we couldn’t convince him that not everyone wants to discuss their reasons for visiting the hospital.

Gray and Cassie are friends now.  One of his favorite games is to throw balls and sticks for her to chase.  Unfortunately, since we spent so much time making her leave his toys alone when he was little she won’t touch anything in his hands (or that he has just thrown) without our permission, which makes for much less exciting games of fetch.

News - July 10, 2001. Gray can crawl now, and whenever he's around his cousin Ethan, he wants to walk too. He's up to eight teeth, which is a problem when he falls over while trying to stand, but for chewing purposes they work well. Mommy is home full time now, so Gray has decided that he'd rather hang out with Dad. (Lisa is writing this and it's true, I swear.)

News - May 6, 2001. Gray has just a little bit more to go before he learns how to crawl. He can push himself up in the position for a bit, before toppling over, but he's also learned how to pull himself forward and push himself backwards along the ground. Nothing is safe anymore. Even the poor dog will think she's safely out of reach only to have her tail being pulled moments later. But in Cassie's defense she has never done anything except gotten up and walked further away. I think those two will be very good friends in just a few years.

News - April 16, 2001. Gray is able to mostly sit up on his own now. He can't sit himself up, but he can stay there once someone else is kind enough to prop him up. His first two teeth came in (bottom middle) on March 20, 2001. He's cutting at least one more now on the top. "The better to bite you with my dear." It is no longer safe to let your finger dawdle near his mouth, trust me it hurts like the dickens when he clamps down on your cuticle.

News - March 7, 2001. We bought Gray a new play mat filled with lots of new and exciting things. His favorite, by far, is the plastic part that you fill up with water. It has small "fishes" that float around inside it. He has learned that if he hits the side of it just right they move to the other side, and on their way by he slams his face down and tries to bite them. It's a lot of fun to watch but he does get annoyed after a while when he realizes that he is not going to catch any fish.

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